Somehow, my already stressful life seemed to go into complete overdrive. My crazy kids were ten times crazier. The classes I subbed were ten times more difficult. The mess at home that we had to clean up every night was ten times messier. Everything started spinning way out of control. I didn't have time for all the meetings for primary, but I went to them anyway because I didn't have a choice. The primary responsibilities seemed ten times harder to fulfill. I couldn't remember things because I was under so much pressure I thought I would explode.
I told Jared before I started the juice fast that it was going to be hard. I mean, I love food. Duh. I imagined that sometimes the only thing that would keep me from ruining it all and eating dinner with the family, or whatever, would be for me to go in my room and lock the door and crawl in bed and cry. (Crying over food? Really? What have I become???)
The first few days I was fine with the food. No hiding in my room. Sometimes the smell of dinner did drive me crazy. I never thought I would actually go eat it, but sometimes I did just have to get away from the smell. So I did go in my room and get in bed. I'd hide under the covers and read my book so that I could get my mind off the amazing smells.
**I think it's also important to note here that Jared cooks dinner almost every night, which is a HUGE help with my juicing.
There have been several times when I just couldn't handle being around everyone eating. There have been more than that that I have been just fine for, but some days it's just too much.
One Friday I worked all day in a particularly difficult class, and when I got home I had to immediately turn around and go to a primary presidency meeting. That meeting lasted 2 hours and could have gone longer. And when I got home it was late enough that I expected the girls would be in bed. I planned to make a juice and just chill for a while. But when I walked in the door, the smell of pizza filled the air, and there everyone was. Eating pizza and watching a movie. Nothing wrong with that at all! But it had been such a long day, and I couldn't handle it. So I went straight upstairs and got in bed. And I cried. I sobbed. And eventually I calmed down and read a book and went to sleep. And the next morning, I went downstairs and it looked like a kid-frat party had happened. !!! It was a mess. There was pizza crust on the floor, paper plates all around, leftover pizza on the counter--for real? Is this what they are like when I'm not there to make them clean up their mess??? (Kind of funny, actually).
No doubt about it, juicing was stressing me to the max. I was always at risk of being pushed beyond my limit. I was yelling at everyone, and just not a happy person at all.
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